Some Like Her Hot: GQ.com
Michelle Williams, tenderly rendered. I must be clear: I’m not a fan—I did not grow up on Dawson’s Creek, and My Week with Marilyn has only just joined Blue Valentine on my endless to-watch list; I’ve not seen her work. Her life story itself moves me. A real tale of working hard, taking risks, challenging yourself, persisting—and loving oh so incredibly much. Thank you, Chris Heath.
There is a question I have been wanting to understand the answer to, but have been feeling that I simply can’t ask. Eventually I just ask it anyway:
Do you think there was a part of you that imagined the two of you would somehow end up together?
Immediately, I wish that I hadn’t. The look on her face—a kind of juddering visceral alarm at what has been said…I don’t wish to see that look many more times in my life. “That would make me way too sad to answer,” she says quickly, and I hurriedly begin another question, about something completely different, hoping that if I say it fast enough these new words will chase the old words away from where they are hanging in the air between us, and maybe she will let me pretend that it was something I never said.
“No, no,” she says, and I can see the tears forming, and I think she means that she doesn’t want to answer any more questions about anything. I mutter some kind of apology under my breath.
But, even now, I’m wrong about everything. Mostly she is just trying to stop my new question. She has something to tell me.
“No,” she says. “I said it would make me too sad to answer but it’s also…”—and she nods even as her voice breaks once more with tears—”…one of my favorite things to imagine.” And through the tears, a beaming, almost beatific smile stretches room-wide across her face. “It’s actually one of my favorite places to visit.”
People can’t understand why I don’t want to be a full-time actress,” she says, “but school life keeps me in touch with my friends. It keeps me in touch with reality. It makes me feel normal. Let’s be honest: I have enough money never to have to work again, but I would never want that. Learning keeps me motivated.
Emma Watson, taken from an interview with her in Parade.
What a sensible young woman. She’s still impressing me.
“Have a five-star day. Don’t let anything get you down.”
Heard on the T in Boston, over the announcement system, at about 7.20am in the morning, as I was making my way to South Station to catch the bus to NYC on Thursday.
Recently, I was unfortunately reminded that human relationships aren’t transactions - that you can put a lot into a friendship that you don’t get back; one mistake you make can negate hours of effort spent on talking, asking questions, listening, giving advice, being there. You can be forgiven, but what you did won’t be forgotten, and your association will bear the cost of that for an unspecified amount of time, at the very least. You can never earn enough “brownie points” to cushion the impact of a mistake you make on a friend. Apologies are helpful, but they’re not cosmic erasers - fact of life.
So what do you do about it?
Hm.
Ok, with my skills from logic class, let me try and construct a logical argument here.
So here’s what we know about life - our premises, as they are, all with the truth-value of “true”:
- We all make mistakes in life, at some point or another - it’s unavoidable.
- Relationships are part of life.
- Mistakes have consequences.
Taking these first three statements into consideration, it follows that this fourth statement must also be true:
- People make mistakes in relationships - it’s unavoidable.
There’s a couple more premises I should add to the mix:
- The consequences of mistakes in relationships are people getting hurt/relationships being damaged.
- People includes you.
Taking the fourth, fifth and sixth statements together bears the seventh true statement:
- You will get hurt/your relationships will be damaged in life - it’s unavoidable.
Now, let me consider a couple of approaches towards life and friendship, after having made a mistake:
- Beat yourself up. Withdraw from the world. Don’t invest in people because you don’t want to get hurt, and you don’t always get back what you put in.
- Learn something. Pick yourself up. Try again. Accept that you will get hurt sometimes, and you don’t always get back what you put in.
In light of the seventh statement, which approach seems more productive?
Let’s try this:
- I stop investing in people and relationships, I don’t get hurt, but it also means that I stop living life - wait. What?! (Clearly, this is a no-go.)
- I keep investing in people and relationships, I get hurt/hurt other people, but I get wiser, I keep the faith/courage/positivity, life goes on.
How’s that for a clear choice?
Here’s another version: If (A) people are always worth investing in, and (B) someone’s always going to make mistakes/get hurt along the way, anyway, then in balance, the truth of the matter is (C) we should always invest in people, and (D) we should come to terms with the unavoidability of hurt. Simple as that.
So here’s to accepting myself for the flawed person I am, and to not living life guided by senseless “is it possible that this will hurt me/I will hurt somebody?” dichotomies.
Have a five-star day. Don’t let anything, or anyone, get you down.
Source: icecreamisbetterwithafork
Hyperbole and a Half: Expectations vs. Reality
A break from the travel lit: I can definitely relate to this!
Source: hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com
Inner Tussle
Part of me wants to be a part of something;
Yet another part of me feels like I already am.
Still another part of me wants to kill the part of me that wants to be a part of something because I don’t think I’m ready,
And because a final part of me feels like I’m not a part of anything and I’m just imagining it all.
These four parts of me, they keep fighting with each other,
And nobody’s winning.
On being ill whilst away from home
(Not that I’m sick at the moment, but) I’ve always thought that one of the worst things to be when you’re away from home, in a completely foreign country, is sick. Maybe being injured’s even worse - watching friends getting towed away by ski rescue teams, having to use a foreign country’s medical services, especially when the native language isn’t the same as yours, must be frightening - but being ill is horrid enough. No home to hide in, no home-bed (yes, it’s different) to crawl into and not emerge from for the rest of the day, no parents to check in on you during different times of the day and ask if you’re alright, or cook for you (Mm.), or remind you to eat well/rest at the very least, no TV to flick through the channels of (if you’re a poor college student, like I am) or shelves upon shelves of leisurely reading to pick through, and family to bring it to you. Sad times.
I appreciate being ill though. Not that I like it - no one likes being ill, it’s awful - I just appreciate that it reminds you you’re not invincible. I appreciate how it makes you slow down, forces you to slow down and take care of yourself. Or at least, it should. A reminder to take care of yourself - definitely something the away-from-home college student needs, every once in a while.
John Mayer - Gravity Partial - London Hammersmith Apollo 18.01.2010 (via AntonyP21)
I apologise for the string of John Mayer posts.
Just think what he says here about being ok with yourself at the end of the day, enough to stick it out for couple more, was meaningful enough to log.
