The cleaning lady had just mopped the floor of the pantry.

He strode in, looked as if he might enter, then decided he’d go pick up some stationery first.

Auntie goes, “Coffee? Can! Dirty, neh mind! Careful, don’t fall!”, thinking he changed his mind because of the wet floor.

He said, “nah, rarely,” as he walked away, meaning he usually drinks tea. “I’ll get a pen first.”

Auntie’s all confused and still calling after him that it’s ok to walk through, so I say, “他去找文具。他说他很少喝咖啡。”

“我以为他看到这边这样就不要走， 肮脏没问题，我是叫他小心不要跌倒。”

He came back in a moment, venturing for some hot water for tea, and she again resumed calling, “dirty! Careful!” as he and another passerby entered, both treading carefully in goofy figure skating choreography to get to the kettle. She got it, he didn’t, so I chipped in, “she says it’s alright if it’s dirty, she just doesn’t want people to fall.”

And he said,”I don’t want to fall! I put on a bit of weight recently, and if I fall, that would be a catastrophe. How would you translate that?”

“…他说他最进胖了，所以他也不想跌倒!”

Auntie laughs, and is about to respond when he says, “now I’ve been distracted, what’s that?” eyeing the box of chocolates that the boss just dropped off on the table earlier. “is that chocolate?” He leaves his cup on the table, and leans over, and auntie comes over and motions—the cup’s too close to the edge.

He scoffs, “Have you had a lot of accidents in your life?” Then looks at me, “can you translate that?”

I laugh, “他问你是不是遇到了很多意外！”

“我只是看过了很多次，他们讲话讲话啊…” And she reenacts it for him, the hands flagging, the cups falling…

He’s back on the chocolate. “Can we eat these? They’re just here,” ripping open the box.

“他不是说他很胖？”

I rip a new one, cracking up over that!

“What did she say?” Already popped a chocolate in his mouth.

“She says didn’t you say you were fat!” just as Auntie mimes being big, sticking out her elbows, raising her shoulders.

He grabs a bunch of chocolates for the road back to his desk, says, “I’ll be back. To be insulted again.” Happily strides off again.

“他说他等一下会回来再给你骂。”